The Stories We Tell Ourselves
Have you ever had a day that felt like a journey through time, filled with old memories and new revelations?
I had it recently when I reconnected with a very dear friend. He was a former student back in the day when I used to teach at a university in my hometown in the Philippines. We became close friends even after I stopped teaching. Our encounters would always be filled with laughter and a good amount of food.
That day was not any different. We spent it visiting old hangouts and filled ourselves with comfort food, mainly street food.
Of course, conversations would touch on the past, how we were, and what we’ve been through. We’d laugh at how naïve we were and how quickly drawn we were towards drama.
We talked about how dear old me was so fixated on getting noticed by this one person who, despite all my efforts, didn’t take me seriously.
You see, dear old me didn’t believe she was good enough to be loved, chosen, or valued. She was insecure and desperate to be seen and validated.
And oh, how it showed! In my work, relationships, and life.
I was a chronic people-pleaser, and I was focused more on other people’s needs and on what society says about perfection or success.
I had a tendency to self-abandon and lose myself in the needs of others.
While my friend and I could now laugh about those times. I was reminded of the amount of inner work I went through to get my shit together. The biggest wake-up call I got was when I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I didn’t think I’d wake up from the trance, the old story, the identity I’ve latched onto for all my life.
Being in that toxic relationship made me afraid of what I would become if I didn’t do anything. I was 37, and I had to be brave and value myself enough to break myself free and recognize my own value. I realized I was worthy of experiencing joy and happiness in my life; not everything had to be about survival.
I recognize the trauma I experienced as a child from which most of this identity formed its roots. Years of work made me realize I am powerful enough to break these barriers of shame. Even if I know this old identity will show its ugly head repeatedly. I’m stronger now. I’ve equipped myself with tools to feel safe and cared for without being attached and affected by what other people feel or think about me.
So, what’s the truth about me?
I care deeply about my happiness and satisfaction and prioritize my well-being in life.
I can create extraordinary value and satisfaction in all my relationships.
That’s now the story I tell myself.
Photo by Maegan Martin on Unsplash
Remember, you have the strength within you to break free from the barriers of shame and embrace your true power. We all have the ability to create new stories that define who we are, stories of strength, resilience, and self-love.
Embrace, celebrate, and never forget that you are worthy of experiencing joy and happiness in your life.
You are powerful, and you are enough.
What old stories have you told yourselves, and how have they influenced your sense of self-worth?
Leave a comment below.