Since the start of the year, I lost three people within my circle. One was my father; the other was a dear uncle and, recently, my high school classmate. I grapple with waves of grief, and the only way I know how to make sense of it all is to write. This piece I’m sharing with you is written from Love’s perspective, inspired by Elizabeth Gilbert’s Letters from Love. If you’re experiencing loss and grief, may you be filled with love and kindness during this difficult time.
My Dearest,
Do you remember the first time you lost someone dear to you? It was your grandpa during the summer of 1990; you were only ten. I know the day he died is forever etched in your memory. Even if you couldn’t understand everything happening, you knew you would never see him again. You felt vulnerable and powerless when you saw your beloved grandma crying with him in her arms. You wanted to run towards her, wanting to fix it, wanting to stop the pain she was feeling. Yet you couldn’t do anything. You stood there, glued to the ground, helpless as you watched her cry in anguish.
At a young age, you realize that life is temporary and that people in your life will eventually go away forever. You also know that your life is borrowed and not to be wasted. You’ll carry this realization with you and ponder on the beauty and complexity of your life.
Yet, it’s easy to forget when things are going well— until it isn’t. You get wake-up calls now and then. I hope you don’t mind when I prod and remind you how precious this life is or that nothing is ever permanent. Life is changing each nanosecond, even if you think it’s much the same. It never is.
So when you recently lost your dad and your heart broke in a million little pieces, I had my love warriors pick them up for you… piece by piece. Because even when your heart was shattered with his loss, he’s never left you. He may be gone physically, yet his love remains. He's there when you look at the clouds, watch the sunrise, and watch the ocean waves. He’s in the song you listen to during your morning walk. He’s in your heart, sweet dumpling.
He NEVER left.
No matter how impermanent life is, you have to go on living. This is how you honor the people who went before you. As you already know, my dearest, this life is so fleeting. One minute, you’re here, and the next, you’re gone. How are you going to live it then, this one wild and precious life, as your favorite poet, Mary Oliver, would say? How will you honor this life that has been gifted to you?
All these questions need no answers. Will you let life unravel and show you the path to truly living?
I know, my love, this can be too much, and at times, all you want is to curl into a ball and cry. When that’s what the moment calls for, it’s okay to surrender and acknowledge the grief and loss you feel. From the depths of your sorrow, may my love be enough for you.
Grief and loss are part of the human experience. So are joy and happiness. One cannot exist without the other. When something dies, something is also born. This is the cycle of life.
Despite its transient nature, may you embrace life fully.
And if it gets hard, remember, I got you.
With you always.
Love
❤️💐💜